A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and a wife. They never showed any PDA (Public Display of Affection). Their kids grew up thinking “touching” was a sin.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife. They believed it was okay to speak sweetly to strangers but at home it was okay to yell and scream at the people you loved the most. Their kids saw this as well and did the same.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife. They believed it was okay to be Chreasters. (Only go to church on Christmas and Easter.) Their children grew up thinking the Church was only for funerals and weddings. The Saviour meant absolutely nothing to them.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife. They believed in treating their children to everything because they both grew up with “nothing.” So, they went in deeper debt and was in bondage to the lender their entire marriage. Their kids also were spoiled and continued the same legacy.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife. They believed in one thing and would change their minds and believe something else the next year. They were unstable in all their ways. Their kids grew up frustrated and vowed never to be like their parents. However, they too were unstable in many areas.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife. They believed in providing for their children but there was never laughter in the home. There was also never communicating. Their children grew up with no relationships. The children had a hard time finding friends and holding on to loving relationships.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife. They decided that their marriage must have been a mistake so they lived separately. Their children grew up separated from them as a couple and had to cling to others in cases of crisis. Their parents were known as quitters in their mind. Their children had relationship issues.
A long long time ago in a far away land lived a husband and wife…
Then there was this one couple….
They believed in showing PDA to their children. Their kids grew up thinking it was healthy to share smooches between husband and wife. They even believed a STOP sign was meant for Smooch Till Others Pass.
They had family night, where the kids enjoyed playing games and laughing with their parents. The kids grew up thinking it was okay to enjoy your family. The kids would actually look forward to holidays so they could reunite with their siblings and parents.
The couple didn’t have debt but also lived within their means. The kids grew up thinking Christmas was about Christ’s birth instead of presents. They would grow up with creative minds to explore inventive ways to spend the mighty dollar.
The couple would live the best they could with the principles stated in the God’s Holy Word and it alone. They lived by Grace and never made their kids feel defeated. There was always room for mistakes – it is how they learned the most. If the couple made a mistake, and yes there were plenty of those, then they apologized and asked for forgiveness. Their kids always felt safe with coming home to their parents and sharing problems with them. Their children felt safe with them even as adults. The children went on to follow the Lord and love Him with their whole heart, mind and soul.
The couple realized early on that parenting is long term and children don’t always learn the first time. If the children did make a mistake, it was dealt with before the sun went down. It was never corrected with anger or corrected with malice. Kindness in their voice is how they would want to be treated so they applied that rule to every situation. Their children went on to also being known as kind and gentle in all circumstances.
The couple was not perfect by any means. If they had a disagreement they would be civil about it. They would not raise their voice to get their point across. They would simply realize that their partner was for them and not against them. They were a team and teams work together in every situation. Their kids saw this and learned great communication skills from this.
Their children were actually very sad the day the left their parents’ house to be on their own. They were not in a hurry to get married or move out on their own. It was mutual. They had formed a sweet and healthy relationship. The parents knew to let go and only give counsel only if it was asked for at this point. Their children had turned into adults and their training had ended. If they had done their job correctly, then their children would know where to go for the answers in every situation. Only time would really tell.
Which couple are you? I can honestly say, we are… it depends on the day. I’m learning. My hubby and I do make mistakes but I pray that my children will forgive us when we ask, and we do ask, it seems daily. I pray that you are encouraged by these. I pray that if you need to change something in your life that you would do it.
Blessings to you – you are loved!
©www.ilovemy5kids.blogspot.com
What a beautiful post! I did not have a good marriage modeled for me as a child so the marriage that my husband and I have has been a lot of hard work and learning through mistakes rather than by example. I’m happy to say that, for the most part, we fit into the last scenario rather than the first ones. Of course, we still make mistakes and do plenty of things wrong but I think we’re on the right path. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this wonderful story!
wow, this was beautiful! I have to saw my husband and I are striving to be the last couple. We do make mistakes and sometimes act like some of the other couples but what we desire and pray for is that we are the last couple. I do see the other couple types in my parents and my sisters family and it is not something I desire. I see what I missed as a child and what my sisters kids are missing and I don’t want that. I am the odd ball of the family and the only one living a Christian Life. Sorry I am rambling
Casey
I can honestly say I was a teenager the first time I saw my mother kiss my father, and I almost fell over in shock. I had seen some affection between other kids’ parents, but I thought that was weird. You can bet my kids have grown up seeing affection between my husband and me! I can’t imagine a day going by without hugs and the occasional shoulder rub. Maybe that’s why I’m still romantically in love with Mike after almost 40 years together (28 married, 9 ‘going out’)!