My blog is sometimes used to post recipes, sometimes to inspire others, and sometimes to write about difficult times so that my children will know the “true” me when they get older.
This is one of those difficult ones.
My mouth has been known to get me in trouble a time or two. Okay, maybe a few million times. It is something that I have to work on constantly. I seem to speak out loud and think later. I tend to think something is funny when others might not get my sense of humor.
This past week has been extremely difficult in more than one way. Life just seems fine then all craziness breaks loose.
Do you remember as a child and your Mom gave you a certain job to do? Then your brother walks in and takes over your job. Then your Dad walks in and scolds you. It was your job and you were doing what you were supposed to do – even though you really could care less about the job. You even tried to tell your brother and Dad that it was your job from Mom but they wouldn’t listen because now they were mad at you.
Well, that happened to me this week only in a grown up way. But, it made me feel like a child. I have never cried so much in my life. I couldn’t even talk without making those little hiccup noises. Not a pretty sight.
I know God is ultimately in control of all circumstances and I’m trying to act like a big girl. But, my insides hurt.
However, when it comes down to it, my “feelings” really should not be my entire focus. My entire life is given over to the Lord and it really is not “my job or my anything”. It is His. As a Christian, we give all our “rights” to Him. However, it is hard especially in times like these.
My hubby encouraged me the other day. He is a quiet and listens more than he speaks. I crave to be like that. He said – “Some people are like Peter. (Peter was known to stick his foot in his mouth a lot.) But, he also got to walk on water.” Not that is an excuse to go around sticking feet in your or my mouth.
I’m just a girl who is not perfect in any sense of the word. I know there is a God who loves me, in spite of my many-many-many imperfections and I have to call upon His name for rescuing. He is the only one that can truly make things better. But, to tell you the absolute truth – that is easier said than done. Emotions take over and the “truth” gets hidden.
When all is said and done – humans are going to make mistakes and no matter what you or I have ever done or said – we are still adored by the Creator of the Universe.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. Please know that I’m just sharing the real me. Life is too short not to be real and I want my babies to know that they can still grow in times like these. In fact, when we are weak – He is strong!
Blessings to you!!! You and I are LOVED no matter who you are or what we have ever done or said!
There are days I look back on instances and relive that mortification. I then look up at God and ask Him to take those mortified memories away – but they stay. Probably to humble make, make me more thoughtful and watchful. I tend to have awful bouts of foot-in-mouth disease.I think that you cried shows more about your character than the foot-in-mouth part. Crying shows compassion and concern, a woman of heart. Women of heart make mistakes just like heartless women. However, women of heart cry and try to make things better:)
I’m glad you are a woman of heart:)
You are so blessed to have a dh like that. Sorry for your rough week.
*Hugs*
Oh man, I am so sorry. I had a few issues myself this week and God gave me plenty of time to practice grace…but instead I chose anger…ouch! I finally bowed at his feet and He made it all right, as only He could do. Growing in grace can be painful sometimes, huh? Keep up the good work and the good faith. He shines so beautifully through you!