I’ve been known as a quiet person.
I’ve been known as a not-so quiet person.
I guess it depends on who you ask.
Some families are loud. Some are louder.
My family is not quiet. However, we are not really loud either.
I want my children to be able to communicate with a soft, kind, and gentle tone. I also want them to be precise, clear and have wit.
I want this for myself, too.
Nothing disturbs me more than when I hear people speak for God when it doesn’t line up with His Word or His Character.
Well, one thing disturbs me more – when I have done it.
I have. More than once.
It wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t mean-spirited.
But, it happened.
I’m not mentioning anything specific.
Honestly, it was probably something I even learned or just repeated from Sunday School, Bible Study, or a well-meaning Teacher or Mentor.
But, it wasn’t from God. And I spoke it as it were a law from God.
It could have just sounded good. Or Christianese. I could even believe it. But, it was not from God or His Word.
One of the thing that bothers me about a lot of churches that I have visited, is they teach mandates from men instead of showing love to the people in the Church.
I pray that I would always show love regardless of how I feel or how many things I have on my plate. I also know God will gently let me know, if I fail. He loves me and you so much!
If I worry more about “cleaning my house”, “ministry”, “meetings”, even fasting and forget about “people” – I think I just missed the whole point.
My house is now my lowest priority.
(I know that sentence just caused some to shudder.)
I don’t stress anymore if people come over and I have laundry on my couch.
This remodel has taught me that. I used to get all stressed if someone called to say they were coming over and there were dirty dishes in the sink.
(I will say it is funny to watch some of my friends, who are neat freaks – come into my house and look at the remodel mess – and leave with muttering to themselves “I couldn’t do what you are doing!” Funny thing is – they could.)
I’m purposely making the Clean House Syndrome a low priority. It caused me so much stress, I would raise my voice to my precious God given children.
Was it worth it? NEVER. – NOT. ONE. TIME.
My family and relationships will come before my dishes or clean laundry laying on the couch. (Just typing this…I know I will be tested, soon.)
It is not showing love when someone gets frustrated enough to lose their temper over a “used” kitchen. Besides, I’m in love with those people who ate off those dishes. I want them to FEEL loved!
My children are going to move out, one day.
I want them to be able to come back home and know that our home is a refuge!
A refuge that is safe.
A refuge that is homey.
A refuge that is peaceful.
A refuge that they could leave dirty dishes and it would cause me to smile because we had food to eat.
A refuge they can feel safe doing what they want to do in it without pressure from me.
Let me be clear…I’m not going to let my home become something that needs an intervention with the clean police. It still will be clean – just without the stress of doing it and causing others to walk on eggshells.
My children have chores that they get paid for and we have systems in place that cause the house to be cleaned.
However, I will not allow it to un-nerve me if my neighbors decide to drop by at midnight and there is dust on my coffee table or dirty dishes in the sink (which they do). Besides, our neighbors know us and love us regardless – most of the time.
I won’t even be embarrassed. (Or at least I will try not to be.)
It is called life. It happens. It can be joyful and pleasant.
I want to choose to LOVE people and NOT stress over these little things such as things that don’t get done in a timely manner.
Blessings to you! You are loved!
Hopefully, this will work for me!
'Becca says
Great post! Have you read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis? There are lots of excellent insights in it, but what made me think of it is that he says worrying a lot about how your home appears to guests is the kind of Pride that is a Deadly Sin: You are focusing on looking good to them instead of on being a loving friend.
Melanie says
This is my first visit to your blog, and this post was a BLESSING to my heart! Yes, I know EXACTLY what you are saying… “Christianese”..yep, been there, done that, got the shirt… (Unfortunately.)
Ouch.
Thank you for this post. You have me thinking today.
Melanie
lexi @ pink and orange coffee says
Love your post! I need to be more mindful too…I don’t have to warry about not cleaning house already…LOL.
Visiting from HHH!
Semalee says
Hmmmm… When the house is a mess I can’t stand it. Not because I’m worried about others (which sometimes I am), but because it stresses me out… I too have raised my voice to my family because of it. I can’t just let it go, though…. Kudos to you! You are a better woman than I! 🙂
Semalee @ Nailing Jello to a Tree
Rachel says
Thank you for your post. This is something my sisters and I have struggled with at different points in our married lives. Our mom always has a clean neat house and that was the priority growing up. We’re learning how to let it go and enjoy our families.
Melinda says
When I was first married a wise older woman was going through a remodel. She shared how she had to daily give up her rights to a clean and organized house. That thought has stuck with me and been a blessing more than once.
Joy says
I am learning this as well. As my hubby would say, we LIVE in our home. Thank you for sharing this. it really touched my heart.