Mama needs a gun or 10

I need a gun.

Or 10.

Can I tell you my dislikes for snakes?
And Scorpions?

Listen, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they need to evaluate why they live where they live.

I really thought that the Lord moved us here in the country by a beautiful lake and the woods – Oh the hills! This part of Texas is just beautiful.

But, let me tell you something right here and right now…

I don’t like snakes.
I definitely don’t like scorpions.

In the last 2 days, we have found both in our house. IN the house!

And I don’t mean this fake snake I joked about a couple weeks ago on my Facebook page.

This one was real!

Can I hear a SCREAM in my AMEN corner?

Scratch that, I am moving to a hotel. With a maid servants.
And a chocolate fountain.
As long as I am dreaming, throw in free room service.
Hey – I’d move to the moon as long as there is not these critters lurking at my every move.

Well, for Christmas – I’m asking for the biggest snake and scorpion gun they make.
Okay, fine. My hubby just informed me that I really shouldn’t shoot in our house.
I just informed him – if there is another snake in my house – it won’t be “our” house.

He is putting in a new door by the way. And sealing every nook and cranny in this place.

My scorpion traps should be here by tomorrow via Amazon. If our mailman decides to deliver mail tomorrow. Apparently, days that have a letter “d” in them makes it optional.

Some days I feel that we are are in a bad episode of Green Acres.

Please tell me someone remembers Green Acres. A television show with Zsa Zsa Gabor. Yep, I’m her. My hubby is that other guy. Thankfully we don’t have to climb a telephone pole to use the phone, we just have no service in parts of the neighborhood.  AND I’m sure the HOA would frown on pink pigs living in the kitchen.

But, I digress.
My kids seem to think we homeschool or something.

They collected the snake and put it in this flimsy cheap ziploc bag and brought it to me. I understand it was small, but I am sure there was a Mom somewhere!

They also put the scorpion in a jar.

By the way, Young Living Lemon Oil does kill scorpions. Don’t ask me how I know. I don’t condone killing on my blog.  Except by guns…which I don’t think my hubby will buy me because I will shoot at everything that looks like a snake or dust or dirt, things I despise.

You know my Grandma was raised in the country (so was I) but she would come across copperheads and kill them with her shoe. I wish I had that much freedom or lack of sanity. Because when my kids yell snake. I leave them. I mean RUN away – far away. SCREAMING! I only realize later – they do not follow.

Yep, protective Mama Bear instincts fly out the window.

I will not go back and get those kids.
They know how to run.
And scream.

Knowing them, they probably collected the helpless deaf snake and put him in a ziplock bag.

I really should have a talk with their teacher.

Okay, I’m sucking it up and going to just look at the lake and hills for awhile.

I now understand that scripture more than ever –

Psalm 121:

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

Maybe the reason the author looked up was because he didn’t want to see the snakes and scorpions all around him. His help only comes from the Lord.

At least that is my prayer.

Blessings to you! You are loved!

P.S.  I really wouldn’t shoot a snake with a gun…I’d be hightailing it to another state.

The end.